From theorising in my brain to theorising in my thesis!

I mentioned in an update in my last post that I had completed my Masters thesis.  I decided readers might well want to know more about how I found it so I've pulled together this post.

Me with the result of 21 months' work: a 300-page bound book.

The main word for how I found it: big!  My thesis started out as a simple question: what made New Zealanders use their debit card payment system, EFTPOS, so much more than Australians or the citizens of other countries used theirs?  Before my brain injury got in the way of things, I'd often pondered doing postgraduate study in economics.  Suddenly, I had an interesting research question to study.  Once this simple idea had germinated, however, it seemed nothing could stop it.  I found an economics professor in my hometown or Wellington willing to supervise my completing a Master of Arts By Thesis.  My thesis eventually became an 80,000+ word study of the economics of the development of retail payment systems in seven Western countries.

Although I started with the plan of finishing the thesis in only one year, it took me 21 months to put it to bed.  I was however very happy with the finished product.  (If you're really interested, the full thing can be downloaded from my university's research archive here, although I summarised it substantially in the context of New Zealand in this guest post for the NZ political blog, Kiwiblog.)  What was the greatest issue for getting my injured brain through thesis writing?  Well, it seems there were two: theorising about my idea in my brain and getting that theorising written down in my thesis.

In terms of theorising in my brain, some major things guided me forward.  When I think back over them now, they're remarkably consistent with ideas I've written about for TBI recovery.  I found it very useful simply to keep talking to the right people about my thesis and where I felt it was heading.  I also thought it important that I enjoyed myself, writing my thesis, and simply keep the faith that I would figure it out.  Did my brain injury slow me down as I thought my way through my work?  I think that's more than likely, but I was enjoying myself so don't feel like that mattered at all.  I just hung in there believing I would find the right way of thinking through my thesis.

As I had figured out parts of my work in my head, the next trick was writing them up in my thesis.  Once again, several things helped me considerably.  The two ideas listed above once more came in handy.  The art of writing well is not a simple one, however.  I think it helped me substantially to have practiced my writing on various blogs around, including on this one.  This is yet another thing that I think has parallels in brain injury recovery, which I outlined in this post, Get Into It!

Even before my brain injury, I think my thesis would have been a major bit of work.  How did I feel about trying to do it with a brain that didn't operate as well as it once did?  I just shrug my shoulders and think, oh well, at least I was still around to do it.  My brain injury could have been so much worse!

If you are a recoveree considering doing something big, I wholeheartedly encourage you to get stuck in and have a crack at it!  See your brain injury not as some insurmoutable obstacle, but as merely something to be managed.  Go for it!

Cheers,
Mike

Embarrassing stuff following a TBI: Google it!

(Please forgive the delay, but it's been a long while since I last posted.  I've been thinking about this post for some time, but haven't focused sufficiently to pull it together until now.  I regret that I've rather been distracted by a frustrating job search following my successful completion of my Masters thesis earlier this year.)

The brain seamlessly controls many, many things.  When we damage it, weird things can start to happen.  And we might not be comfortable talking about some of them.  They may in fact be down right embarrassing!  All is not lost, though.  There is one source of information that won't ask any questions about why you're researching stuff: Google!

Two embarrassing things have arisen during my recovery.  One of them I'm happy to talk about, but the other rates barely a mention.  That's because I remain too embarrassed to discuss it in such a public way.  (I'll leave you to guess from the first how I dealt/am dealing with the second!)  The first is that I (still!) have problems recognising people's faces and the second, that I have occasionally had problems with bladder control.

I am by nature a social person: being around friends and family matters hugely to me.  I find it very natural to be friendly with everyone, it feels energising to me.  I have absolutely no wish to be seen as unfriendly towards people.  Yet, an important part of being friendly is recognising people when you see them again.  If I've only met someone once or twice, though, this is the part I battle with: no matter how involved the conversation was, if I've only met someone the once, it's reasonably likely that I'll completely fail to remember who they are when I see them again.  (This issue is much more than just forgetting people's names, which I wrote a bit about here!)

For some, this might not be a major issue, but for me it definitely is.  Yet, how can I explain it to someone?  Even if I was comfortable with doing so, there would be only a very small number of specialists familiar with it in a small country like New Zealand.  I imagine many neurologists or brain injury specialists would look at it and say, show me a real problem.  To me, though, this is a real problem!

Google's not going to be worried about the seriousness of my problem.  If I input the keywords, brain problem recognising people, if faithfully reveals that I in fact have a condition called prosopagnosia.  Further searching reveals sites such as this one that say there is no formal treatment for the condition.  Sounds to me like an invitation for me to be determined to recover and think hard about how I might work around it.  When I meet someone, can I try remembering their hair colour and the facial features so I can remember them if I meet them again out of context?  With careful thought and a bit of research, surely it's up to me to work out how to recover!

Cheers,

Mike