Having Faith I Will Figure It Out

In my most recent post, I talked about how I've relearnt heaps just by retrying an activity. I talked about trying to relearn it enough just to enjoy it again. Part of what guides me in that is having faith I will figure it out.

Of course, my injury has affected what I can do. I know what I enjoyed before my accident; unfortunately, I can't do all of it in the way I used to. I get into it, but it can be (very) frustrating as I often feel I'm starting from the beginning.

I can't give up hope, though. I try and think hard about what, specifically, I enjoyed about doing the activity. What will I need to relearn to start enjoying it that way again? Often, my constraints from my injury will mean I need to adopt a new approach. Is there an approach that will still allow me to enjoy the activity as I used to?

I guess, once again, my running's a good example of this. Like I said in my last post, I got into it, but then found the rate at which I was improving tailed off. It became more and more frustrating not feeling like I was making any sort of progress with it. What kept me going was having faith that, sooner or later, I would work it out.

I thought hard about what I needed to enjoy it: it wasn't the speed; it wasn't the hills or the views; it was the endorphins. Running properly was important to get those. In the end, I had to get some expert advice to help me do that from a physiotherapist who specialised in brain injury and running.

It's been quite a journey and, although not over yet, one big help along the way has been the faith that, eventually, I'd figure it out.

Cheers,
Mike

Get Into It!

It's been awhile, sorry guys. I hope everyones' recoveries have been progressing well! As I said in my post before Christmas '08, I've been thinking about a whole bunch of things on TBI recovery. Unfortunately, I've had a bit of trouble finding time to write about them. Apologies and please wish me luck for finding more time to write from here on.

I'm restarting posting with something relatively simple, Get Into It! Much of the progress I've made in a whole range of activities is due to one thing: just getting back into it.

For the great majority of things, even when I can do them properly, I can't do them nearly as well as I used to before my accident. I need to relearn them and, basically, I want to relearn them enough to enjoy doing them again. If I restart doing it at whatever level, that doesn't normally take too long.

It doesn't matter to me whether I enjoy it less than I used to. Of course, it's frustrating to have to restart learning it again, but only one thing's important to me, am I still enjoying it at some level or other? Maybe I'll one day have my old level of enjoyment back, but, right now, do I still like to do it?

Sometimes, I'll restart something, but have real trouble relearning it. That's when it becomes more important to find the right people to talk to. There must be someone around who can help me with whatever I want to relearn. It's just a matter of finding out who that is.

The best example I have that sets all of this out is my running. I had loved this before my accident; popping out somewhere interesting for a few hours' hard running; the views. the feeling of drive during it, the endorphins afterwards, it was a great feeling. My running afterwards was much less so.

Yet, I got into it and was making progress relearning it. Eventually, however, I stopped making progress and had real trouble with it. In the end, I saw a physiotherapist who specialises in brain injury and running. He made all the difference, improving my form out of all sight.

Even now, though, I'm not sure I enjoy it as much as I used to, but I love it enough to back out doing it again.

Cheers,
Mike

Merry Christmas to You All!

It's been a long while sine my last post. Obviously, I've been suffering something like the problem I described in it, Brain Lock.

There is more coming, though. My recovery certainly isn't over, yet, and I continue to find out things I'd like to share with you. Perhaps it's a sign that things are going well, though - I lack time to properly write.

Anyway, I will get around to it. In the mean time, I wish my readers a great Christmas and a happy New Year. To all those recovering from brain injury, whatever '08 was like, I wish you a much improved '09!

Seasons Greetings,
Mike

Brain Lock

I've had another issue that has occasionally cropped up since my TBI. I get something in my head and set about doing it... no matter what! Indeed, I discussed one occurence of it in Mike's Regrets; almost getting another TBI by trying to body-surf dumping waves at a surf beach I went to.

Quite suddenly, I become much less aware of any factors indicating that what I'm doing isn't the best approach. Something else happens, something new crops up, but I just seem to ignore it. It's as if my brain isn't flexible enough to cope with the changing situation. It doesn't happen that often - normally my brain operates more or less as it used to. When it does happen, though, I describe it as brain lock.

For me, brain lock is almost as if I simply forget to think about other stuff. I become focused on the task at hand; on doing (or saying or being) whatever it was I had intended to do. And I seem to ignore everything else, no matter how relevant.

As I've written before on this blog, I can be very determined about stuff when I want to be, but this is different. When I'm being determined about something, I do my best to take in all relevant aspects of ths situation. When I've got brain lock, it's as if I'm simply ignoring everything else. Brain lock seems a great way of describing my problem.

I have yet to come up with a full-proof way of dealing with my episodes of brain lock. I hope that it will be at least a little easier if I'm aware that sometimes I do it. As I get more experienced with the new me, I hope that I'll become better at knowing when I might get brain lock.

I don't know if every TBI recoverer suffers from brain lock, but suspect it might be quite common. Whether it is or isn't, though, I write about it here to give readers a better idea of the sorts of problems they might face. I do believe nearly every TBI problem can be solved, or at least substantially helped, with a bit of careful, thorough thinking and problem solving. I hope this one isn't any different.

Cheers,
Mike

P.S. I've now added a post about Managing Brain Lock

Another Approach to Therapy - Learning to Sing

I've always had a loud, deep voice, but it's become noticeably more raspy since my accident. I've also lost some control over my volume and pitch. Speech language therapy I had early on seemed to give me little relief. Part of that (perhaps a large part!) was that I found the exercises difficult to keep doing because I had trouble applying them in practice.

I'd been conscious my voice still needed work, though, and eventually I came across another way. I've started singing lessons. My singing instructor certainly doesn't have a speech therapy background. She was quite surprised when I explained my plans and hopes with my learning to sing, but we started lessons anyway.

I noticed an immediate improvement in the quality of my voice and I feel there is big potential for further progress. Singing allows me to practice using my full vocal range. As well as that, by it's very nature, singing well involves a much greater need for control over one's voice (compared to speaking). Perhaps because of the way our brains are wired, it's easier to hear when I'm not singing well compared to when I'm not speaking well. So it's easier to feel like I'm making progress.

I don't propose that learning to sing will work for everyone. Instead, I write about this here to discuss the value of thinking outside the box to help TBI recovery. Think about what it is you want to achieve. How have you been working on it so far and how has that been going? What other things, what completely new approaches, might help you out?

Cheers,
Mike

Keeping At It!

In the post, Breaking the 40 Hour Week Barrier, I showed an Excel graph of my return to a 40 hour week. I guess I'm fairly unusual and not everyone wants to get back to work as badly as me. Whatever your goal is, though, the message is, pay close attention to the progress you're making towards it.

I've often described how TBI recovery takes time! Sometimes it seems so slow, it's extraordinarily frustrating. I've learnt, though, if I pay close attention to what I'm working towards, I might well find I'm still making progress. It might not be happening fast, but, if I keep a record, I can see it's still happening.

Whatever my goal is, even when it's something funny, like talking properly again, I do my best to figure out a way to measure my progress towards it. There's no need to make some fancy graph, just to find some way to measure my progress. For example. to work on my voice, I might well try recording my voice at various points in time and, particularly when I'm feeling down, go back to earlier recordings to listen to my progress.

So I feel better if progress is being made. If no progress is happening, I still don't feel bad. I just think about new approaches. What else could I be doing to improve? Keeping track of my progress is a great way to keep my motivation up, to keep pushing forward.

Cheers,
Mike

P.S. For those interested in my experiences working on my voice, please have a read of my post, Another Approach to Therapy - Learning to Sing.