An Update on Mike's Recovery

It's about time I wrote an update on how my recovery's going. As readers may have noticed, I've had little time recently to write posts for this blog. That's because my recovery's all go! Right now, there are two major parts to it and it's these I want to fill readers in on.

The first part is my second attempt at racing the Ironman triathlon in Taupo, New Zealand in March 2010. Readers may have seen in other posts that I received my brain injury in a traffic accident I had while training two weeks before the same race in 2005. An intense desire to race Ironman is something that's always been a special motivation for me to recover more. I'm really looking forward to finally achieving this goal.

The second part is a Masters degree I recently started in my favourite subject, economics, at a university here in Wellington, New Zealand. The degree involves the preparation of a 30-40,000 word thesis, which I am hoping to complete about June next year.

I continue to think about brain injury recovery and what readers might like to hear about my experiences as I attempt to complete these two goals. Unfortunately, finding time to write them up and put them on here is a bit of an issue, right now. But readers can rest assured that I'll get them up here at some stage soon(ish).

Cheers,
Mike

What Did My TBI Feel Like? Cloudy!

My Dad recently reminded me of the way I described my TBI not long after I received it! For me, my TBI basically made me feel all cloudy. I'm lying there in a bed in my rehab centre; I'm not in pain, but I'm just trying to take it all in. Yet things are so confusing and my head just feels unable to cut through that confusion.

Of course, I've just been thrown into this new environment. I've got very new limitations - I can't walk, I can't even talk properly - and I've now got a very unfamiliar outlook on where my life's heading. What will my recovery be like? It stands to reason that I'm going to be confused, but my brain just can't seem to get started on making head or tail of it! I find myself in this surreal world where I just can't find my bearings.

Fortunately, things do start to fall into place. They slowly begin to make sense and you get more certainty about where things are headed. The cloud lifts.

Getting clarity on where things were at was the start of looking at/thinking about what needed to be done. So it feels more like I should finish this post by saying, the cloud's lifted, let the Games begin!

Cheers,
Mike

The TBI Fingerprint

My own experiences with brain injury recently led my Mum into joining the Committee of the local brain injury association. One of the other Committee members discussed a good analogy for brain injuries and I thought I'd blog about it here.

The Committee member's analogy was, every brain injury is like a fingerprint. There's stuff in common with other brain injuries, but it's pretty much unique! No two brain injuries will be alike.

That idea might create issues for my readers. If every brain injury's unique, why should I bother reading about recovery ideas from a bloke who's only had one of them? After all, my fingerprint will be different to his.

Another thing is, it might make recoverers feel better or worse that their brain injury was more or less severe than someone else's. However, in Recovery from Any TBI, I say how I think, in terms of effects, there's little that sets any TBI apart. If I meet anyone with a TBI, I can be fairly confident that it's fundamentally changed their life. Every TBI's unique, but that doesn't take away from the effect of any one TBI.

What might be similar between recoverers, though, is attitude! Accordingly, the main goal I have when I blog is to help other recoverers find their own determination to recover!

Cheers,
Mike

Listening to Your Body: Sweating and Cravings for Salt

Your body is exceptional at telling you what it needs. All you have to do is listen!

One particularly undesirable effect of my brain injury is, when I exercise, I sweat... heaps. As long as I drink lots of liquid, I have no problem with it (although I'm less keen on running into girls I want to impress when I'm like that :-). However, I'm only slowly getting used to the new ways my body operates.

As I started triathlon training more regularly, I was exercising more often and therefore sweating more. About the same time, I started experiencing periods of cravings for potato chips. I'd never before had intense desires for particular foods (both before and since my accident), so I was very perplexed by such episodes.

Eventually, I realised that what my body was after was potato chips for their salt to replace the amount of salt I was losing in my sweat. Eureka! I increased the amount of salt in my diet by adding it to meals every so often. I haven't since experienced trouble with cravings for chips.

I certainly don't propose every recoverer will have a similar craving caused by sweating more! What I am saying is, listen to, and think hard about, what your body's saying to you. A TBI will likely change some/many of the ways your body works. As you get used to the new you, it might help to pass close attention to what it's trying to tell you.

Cheers,
Mike

More Unsympathetic Reactions: Getting Ejected from a Bar!

I mentioned in the post, Unsympathetic Reactions to Brain Injury, getting stopped by a nightclub doorman as I entered his bar and asked how many drinks I had had. That first bar was in Melbourne, Australia, and it was during another recent trip to Australia that I had a similar experience; this one actually resulted in me being kicked out of the bar.

It was the end of a long day of touring near Alice Springs in Central Australia. I was relaxing with my tour group in a local bar. Even four years on from my TBI, the end of a long day normally means one thing: I'm fatigued!

During a trip to the toilet, I was unknowingly followed by one of the bar's doormen. He decided that my stumbling, fatigued motions were due to intoxication. After stopping me, he said, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Nightclub doormen are not people to muck around with! They're unlikely to listen if I try telling them of my brain injury. I decided it was best just to politely accept and ask if I can say goodbye to my tour group. That request was granted and then I was politely sent on my way.

Did I get annoyed about the incident? Well, it's wasn't good having my night ended for me, but I just did my best to accept it. The doorman was doing his job and meant no ill-feeling. The sheer fact I was fatigued shows me that it was time for bed, anyway.

Basically, the only sensible option I saw, and still see now, was to accept it and live/leave to fight another day!

Cheers,
Mike

Getting Red-Carded!

In New Zealand's favourite contact sport, Rugby Union, players receive a yellow-card if they commit a foul bad enough for the referee to suspend them from the game for ten minutes. Players receive a red-card if the referee decides to permanently suspend them from the game. A similar sort of approach is used in football or soccer.

Basically, I know when I'm tired, but, if I'm trying to stay part of the action, I might not respond to it. My brother adapted rugby's card system to encourage me to manage my fatigue.

If I look tired enough for a one, I'm given a yellow-card and sent off for a half-hour neuro-rest. If I'm so tired that a normal neuro-rest won't be enough and it's the end of the day, I get a red-card. Time to pack it all in and head off to bed.

While somewhat light-hearted, this system is great for keeping me focused on what's really important here; managing my fatigue! Hope it also helps others.

Cheers,
Mike

Patients' Approach to Specialists

A friend recently emailed to me this New York Times article. The final section on How Patients Can Help is right up my alley and I wanted to blog here about it!

The article refers to a few key concepts, some of which I've blogged about before: having lists of questions when seeing specialists, turning up to appointments with at least two people and being (very) familiar with one's condition. The article does warn about "oversearch", but I think that's less of a problem if one keeps in mind that one's own case may always differ from others.

I hope my readers enjoy the article.

Cheers,
Mike

Managing Brain Lock

In the post, Brain Lock, I described one particular problem I have where I get something in my head and set about doing it... no matter what. In spite of me being aware that I occasionally suffer it, I continue to experience it. Most recently, it happened at work when I continued to (somewhat publicly) argue about a point in spite of it becoming quite disruptive for my team.

Although we ended up with the problem resolved, I was embarassed about the way we got there - good ol' brain lock was at it, again. So, to try and avoid future episodes, I went back to the drawing board once more to reflect on ways to manage this problem. I've thought of a couple that, as yet, are untested. That is, I don't really know if they'll really work. Nevertheless, I wanted to blog about them now so my readers can see an example of a thought process I go through when managing through such problems.

I decided that, in times of brain lock (and perhaps at all times), the best thing is to focus on end-outcomes. What is my end-goal for this situation? What do I want to walk away having achieved? What is the best way to achieve it?

Of course, there's still the problem of knowing when I'm in danger of becoming brain-locked (and, therefore, in need of thinking about alternative methods to achieve end-goals). Here, I'm still a little unsure, but think that the best way of knowing this is to always reflect on one thing: how many times have I raised this issue? How long has it been since I reflected on my end-goal and alternative methods of achieving this?

I'm not too sure if this will work (particularly, my method of trying to realise when I'm at risk of brain-lock), but there you go. I will continue to think about it and revisit it, if I still have problems with brain lock.

Cheers,
Mike

As Good as It Gets

One recovery idea that I occasionally come across is the concern that, maybe, this is as good as it gets. This is a very understandable thing to worry about. Indeed, this is the very idea that a character with an obsessive-compulsive disorder played by Jack Nicohson battled against in a recent film of the same name. I find myself occasionally wondering about it, too.

A brain injury can cause all sorts of problems, problems that require such a different approach to things that used to be so easy, One can start to feel these problems are insurmountable; feel like there's no way "back to" the way you were before; there are no more improvements to be had. Basically, one can worry that this is as good as it gets!

I don't know about obsessive-compulsive disorder, but I do know a little of recovery from traumatic brain injury. While understandable, I think it a very dangerous thing to worry about. The brain is an immensely adaptable piece of equipment. Worrying that things won't get better almost flatly assumes the brain won't learn how to work around whatever problems it comes across. In my humble opinion, assuming that is almost as bad as ruling it out from ever happening. That is, if you want to learn to recover, start by believing that you are actually able to recover.

Yet, feeling this is as good as it gets is still very understandable; when I start thinking it, what do I do about it? Simple, I do my best to keep in mind specific areas of progress I have made, specific times when my brain has learnt about how to work around things. With that, I can convince myself that my brain can work around things. This is definitely not as good as it gets!

Cheers,
Mike

Having Faith I Will Figure It Out

In my most recent post, I talked about how I've relearnt heaps just by retrying an activity. I talked about trying to relearn it enough just to enjoy it again. Part of what guides me in that is having faith I will figure it out.

Of course, my injury has affected what I can do. I know what I enjoyed before my accident; unfortunately, I can't do all of it in the way I used to. I get into it, but it can be (very) frustrating as I often feel I'm starting from the beginning.

I can't give up hope, though. I try and think hard about what, specifically, I enjoyed about doing the activity. What will I need to relearn to start enjoying it that way again? Often, my constraints from my injury will mean I need to adopt a new approach. Is there an approach that will still allow me to enjoy the activity as I used to?

I guess, once again, my running's a good example of this. Like I said in my last post, I got into it, but then found the rate at which I was improving tailed off. It became more and more frustrating not feeling like I was making any sort of progress with it. What kept me going was having faith that, sooner or later, I would work it out.

I thought hard about what I needed to enjoy it: it wasn't the speed; it wasn't the hills or the views; it was the endorphins. Running properly was important to get those. In the end, I had to get some expert advice to help me do that from a physiotherapist who specialised in brain injury and running.

It's been quite a journey and, although not over yet, one big help along the way has been the faith that, eventually, I'd figure it out.

Cheers,
Mike

Get Into It!

It's been awhile, sorry guys. I hope everyones' recoveries have been progressing well! As I said in my post before Christmas '08, I've been thinking about a whole bunch of things on TBI recovery. Unfortunately, I've had a bit of trouble finding time to write about them. Apologies and please wish me luck for finding more time to write from here on.

I'm restarting posting with something relatively simple, Get Into It! Much of the progress I've made in a whole range of activities is due to one thing: just getting back into it.

For the great majority of things, even when I can do them properly, I can't do them nearly as well as I used to before my accident. I need to relearn them and, basically, I want to relearn them enough to enjoy doing them again. If I restart doing it at whatever level, that doesn't normally take too long.

It doesn't matter to me whether I enjoy it less than I used to. Of course, it's frustrating to have to restart learning it again, but only one thing's important to me, am I still enjoying it at some level or other? Maybe I'll one day have my old level of enjoyment back, but, right now, do I still like to do it?

Sometimes, I'll restart something, but have real trouble relearning it. That's when it becomes more important to find the right people to talk to. There must be someone around who can help me with whatever I want to relearn. It's just a matter of finding out who that is.

The best example I have that sets all of this out is my running. I had loved this before my accident; popping out somewhere interesting for a few hours' hard running; the views. the feeling of drive during it, the endorphins afterwards, it was a great feeling. My running afterwards was much less so.

Yet, I got into it and was making progress relearning it. Eventually, however, I stopped making progress and had real trouble with it. In the end, I saw a physiotherapist who specialises in brain injury and running. He made all the difference, improving my form out of all sight.

Even now, though, I'm not sure I enjoy it as much as I used to, but I love it enough to back out doing it again.

Cheers,
Mike